Domestic Violence Awareness Month

October is “Domestic Violence Awareness Month”.

India is observing “Domestic Violence Awareness Month” for the first time this year to make it an International event for all men’s rights and fathers’ rights groups across the world.

Please visit the following blogs for more info:

http://dvawareness-india.blogspot.com/

http://dvawarenessindia.blogspot.com/

http://uchalla.wordpress.com

An Abusive Story

Lord Buddha was sitting under a banyan tree. One day, a furious man came to him and started abusing him.

The man thought that Buddha would reciprocate in the same manner, but to his utter surprise, there was not the slightest change in the expression on his face.

Now, the man became more furious. He hurled more and more abuses at Buddha. However, Buddha was completely unmoved. Actually there was a look of compassion on his face. Ultimately the man was tired of abusing him. He asked, "I have been abusing you like anything, but why are you not angry at all?

Lord Buddha calmly replied, "My dear brother, I have not accepted a single abuse from you."
"But you heard all of them, didn't you?" The man argued half-heartedly.

Buddha said, "I do not need the abuses, so man should I even hear them?"

Now the man was even more puzzled. He could not understand the calm reply from Buddha.
Looking at his disturbed face, Buddha further explained, "All those abuses remain with you."

"It cannot be possible. I have hurled all of them at you," the man persisted.

Buddha calmly repeated his reply, "But I have not accepted even a single abuse from you! Dear brother, suppose you give some coins to somebody, and if he does not accept them, with whom will those coins remain?"

The man replied, "If I have given the coins and they are not needed by anyone, then naturally they would remain with me."

With a meaningful smile on his face, Buddha said, "Now you are right. The same has happened with your abuses. You came here and hurled abuses at me, but I have not accepted a single abuse from you. Hence, all those abuses remain with you only. So there is no reason to be angry with you."

The man remained speechless. He was ashamed of his behavior and begged for Buddha's forgiveness.

~ Author Unknown

-----------------------------------

When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free.
- Catherine Ponder

India mothers-in-law fight abuse

A group of Indian mothers-in-law have come together to fight the harassment they claim to endure at the hands of their daughters-in-law.

Fifty women have joined the All India Mothers-in-law Protection Forum (AIMPF), launched in Bangalore city.

A spokeswoman told the BBC that while there were 15 laws to protect the younger generation, there was nothing to protect mothers-in-law from abuse.

India's National Commission for Women has acknowledged the problem.

It says that cases against in-laws are often registered by brides who are protected by strict anti-dowry laws.

But a number of the accusations turn out to be false.

'As vamps'
"The mother-in-law is portrayed as a villain in our society," says Neena Thuliya, coordinator of AIMPF.

"In television serials, films and the media, we are shown as vamps. It's an age-old belief that the mother-in-law physically assaults and mentally tortures the daughter-in-law."

The AIMPF recently did a survey in Bangalore studying cases of abuse and torture filed against the mother-in-law.

Mrs Thuliya says that of the nearly 50 cases they researched, all turned out to be false allegations.

Dowries are often paid by bride's families in India
"There was a time when the daughter-in-law had to live with so many restrictions, but now the time has changed. Today's daughter-in-law is free and works outside the home. It's the old mother-in-law who now faces abuse at the hands of the daughter-in-law," Mrs Thuliya says.

"In tele-serials we are the villains, in real life we are the victims," she adds.

Mrs Thuliya says elderly women are sometimes thrown out of their homes by their daughters-in-law.

The forum, she says, will hold meetings every Sunday and will devise strategies to provide support to "harassed mothers-in-law".

The AIMPF says it will also campaign against the demonisation of the mother-in-law in popular culture.

For centuries, in many Indian families, daughters-in-law have been harassed for bringing in "inadequate dowry" - a South Asian tradition where the bride's parents give cash, jewellery and gifts to the groom's family.

The Indian government outlawed giving and accepting dowries in 1961, but the practice continues and even today few arranged marriages take place without an exchange of dowry.
Campaigners say the system has led to the abuse of young brides, making them vulnerable to domestic violence.

Every year, hundreds of women are scalded or even burned alive by their in-laws.
In the past few years, India has introduced several strict laws to protect new brides from abuse and torture.

But it is being accepted by the authorities that the laws are being increasingly misused by young women to harass their in-laws or settle scores.

Source: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/8241275.stm

The Tact Of Tact

Different presentations affect our reactions, communications and interactions with others. It's our presentation that counts.

Two people may be trying to get across the same idea, but they may do it in
completely different ways. One presentation may have negative overtones, carry with it a whole range of negative emotions, and incite negative reactions, whereas the other may be just the opposite. Almost without exception, the one who does it in a kind, considerate way will have the greater success.

Positive presentation makes people feel good, it makes them feel cared for, it makes them feel that you like and respect and have confidence in them, and that nearly always wins their cooperation.

If people feel that you care, that's what will matter most to them and go the farthest in strengthening your relationship. Let friendship and trust come through.

Actually, the words we say are not always as important as how we say them. Sometimes we do need to point out problems or say things that we know will be difficult for the other person to accept, and even be direct in doing so. But people can overlook our being frank if they see that we sincerely care about them.
Even if we fail to say exactly the right thing in exactly the right way, if people feel that you care, that's what will matter most to them and go the farthest in strengthening your relationship. Let friendship and trust come through.

Part of mastering the Art of Presentation is to try a little tact.

A word that seems out of place or is said at the wrong time or to the wrong person is often thought of as a lack of tact. The dictionary defines tact as "the ability to say and do the right things; skill in handling difficult situations or dealing with difficult people without giving offense; delicacy; diplomacy." Delicacy means "fineness of feeling for small differences." The word "tact" is taken from the Latin tactus, which means "touching."

So the art of having tact and saying the right things to people at the right time is really just to be sensitive to the way they feel, to have that personal touch that helps us to be aware of what might hurt their feelings and to avoid doing so.
How do we learn to be more tactful? Be more sensitive to people's feelings, and cultivate the habit of thinking twice before you speak.

What you say is important! How you say it is even more important!!!-- Cyrus Lentin

Shimla Declaration of the National Conference

Introduction:

Save Indian Family (SIF) movement is a non-funded, self-supported movement and has been formed with a multi-dimensional strategy to form at least 100 NGOs all over India working in the area of Men Welfare. On the 15th of August 2009, 100 leaders from at least 25 NGOs representing 40,000 members participated in a 2 day National Conference in Shimla with a resolution of not to celebrate the Independence Day on August 15 this year.

Brief Background:

Leaders of the SIF movement feel that India is not an independent and a democratic country because men in general and married men in particular are being discriminated against to the point that their constitutional rights are being infringed and challenged especially those granted under Articles 14,15,20 and 21 of the Indian Constitution – the mother of all Indian laws.

1. Article 21 of the Constitution provides for Right to Liberty, however today one unverified complaint of mental and/or physical harassment from the wife under Section 498A of the Indian Penal Code lands a man and his old parents, pregnant sister and minor children behind bars and his Right to Liberty is challenged as neither is any investigation being done to verify the tenacity of the complaint nor evidence is collected to corroborate the allegations.
2. Article 20 of the Constitution says that no person shall be tried twice for the same offence, however, in marital matters the man and his family face multiple litigations/prosecutions/trials for the same alleged cause of action under Section 498A of the Indian Penal Code, Domestic Violence Act, Section 125 CrPC (maintenance), Section 24 of the Hindu marriage Act, Divorce case, child custody case etc. These multiple and parallel litigations for same alleged offence clearly and blatantly violates Article 20 of the Indian Constitution.
3. Article 15 of the Constitution says that for the weaker sections of the society including women and children, the Govt. shall provide for Special Provisions to work for their welfare. Nowhere does it give the Govt. the liberty to formulate special, redundant and gender biased laws against the natural principles of Cardinal Justice. However, the laws mentioned above have been formulated and this practice is in violation of the Article 15 of the Constitution of India.
4. Article 14 of the Constitution provides for Right to Equality before law. However, in Domestic Violence Act, firstly men are not provided protection against domestic abuse from their wives and in-laws and secondly the complainant woman’s sole testimony is considered as evidence of violation of protection order enough to convict the man. Both these practices do not place men and women at equal footing before the law as men face severe discrimination and their Constitutional right under Article 14 is challenged.

Under such a scenario, the men’s rights NGOs under the aegis of the SIF movement have lost the significance of celebrating Independence Day as they feel India is not a democratic country but a fascist country where arbitrary arresting a particular section of the society is considered as social service. SIF Leaders feel celebrating Independence in a country, where the Constitutional Rights of men are not respected, is like insulting freedom fighters like Bhagat Singh, Netaji Subhash Chandra Bose, Chandrashekhar Azad, etc.

Major Concerns:

• 123,000 innocent women (mothers, sisters and other female relatives of men) have been arrested in the four years period (2004 – 2007) whereas even the so called “Barbaric British Govt.” arrested only 40,000 women in 40 years.
• Every year on an average 55200 married men are committing suicides with the number shooting to 57593 for 2007 vis-à-vis 30000 married women as per National Crime Records Bureau. Whose life is in more danger? Is the pain of a mother/sister less when she loses a son/brother?
• 98% of dowry harassment cases filed against men have been found to be false and it is the wife’s family who has been extorting money from the man by treating them as FREE ATM MACHINE by threatening them with false allegations and dragging them into frivolous and malicious prosecution.
• In the five years span (2001 – 2006) an estimated 13,00,000 men have lost their jobs – a vast majority of them due to frivolous and arbitrary arrests – whereas 14,00,000 women have gained employment. Who needs empowerment, men or women?
• Men pay 82% of the taxes and more tax than women at the same salary level.

Action Points:

• SIF declares Section 498A of the IPC and Domestic Violence Act as Unconstitutional and demands a National Level Committee be setup which would include SIF Leaders as well to investigate into the constitutionality of these laws.
• Institute National Commission for men to study men’s issues and give recommendations to the Govt.
• Form Men’s Welfare Ministry to address men’s issues.
• Replace the word “Husband” and “Wife” with “Spouse” and “Man” and “Woman” with “Person".

Source: SIF Press Release

Join Save Indian Family Movement......

Hard times for software guys

Source: http://www.mid-day.com/news/2009/jul/170709-Techies-Harrassed-Husbands-40-percent-Save-India-Family-Foundation-Bangalore.htm

About 40 per cent of harassed husbands in the city are techies, study finds

Techies earning fat salaries are the most harassed among Bangalore husbands.

A study carried out by Save Indian Family Foundation (SIFF), a city based NGO, reveals that software professionals make up about 40 per cent of the total number of harassed husbands.

Huge pay packets make techies soft targets, say members of the foundation who carried out the study over 15 months.

"The study is shocking," said Panduranga Katti, president of SIFF. "Software professionals getting huge benefits from companies is a known fact and wives are misusing this every day. In most cases, wives demand money and threaten to complain to the police."

The share

SIFF, which works to empower harassed husbands through its website and branches across the nation, studied about 1,100 cases in Bangalore from January 2008 to April 2009.

After the techies, came men with private businesses. They constituted 11.7 per cent of the cases. Husbands from administration and the military made up about 10 per cent of the cases.

Legal help for hassled hubbies

Men in government service, heavy engineering and management, and the finance sector made up 7.8, 7 and 6.3 per cent of the total cases respectively.

The study included professionals, who approached the NGO through the internet. While 73 per cent of the cases approached SIFF through its website http://www.indianfamily.org/, the rest approached them through friends.

Help

SIFF plans to empower harassed husbands by providing them with legal support based on court judgments.
"Besides legal help, we will empower husbands through sessions of basic strategies and tactics. This will be done step by step," said Virag Dhulia, member, SIFF.

What women want
This is how wives harass husbands, according to the study:
>>Demanding money and threatening to file police complaints
>>Wanting parents to be sent away from the house
>>Forcing the husband to buy property
>>Adultery

Relax norms for Sikhs in US Army: Lawmakers

Three influential Congressmen have asked the US Defence Secretary Robert Gates to let Sikh American youths serve the US Army with their religious identity.

Three lawmakers, Carolyn Maloney, Rodney Frelinghuysen and Joseph Crowley, in a letter to Gates have strongly supported the two Sikh American youths who have challenged the Pentagon [ Images ] regulation, which prevent them in serving the US Army with their religious identity.

The lawmakers have asked the Defence Secretary to give full consideration to the soldiers' requests. They, in their letter, cited other Sikhs' service in the US Armed Forces and in its allies' militaries to support their argument that these men should be permitted to serve.

'Throughout our history, our nation's military has succeeded in training individuals from diverse backgrounds and communities to achieve one unifying goal: to protect and defend our nation.

'Providing Lieutenant (Tajdeep S Rattan) Rattan with a reasonable accommodation would simply be an additional chapter in this long history of military success,' wrote Congresswoman Maloney, and Congressman Crowley in a joint letter dated June 17 to Gates.

'I am urging you to give full consideration to this young American's request for a reasonable accommodation that will allow him to continue to serve our nation and to observe his religious faith,' said Congressman Frelinghuysen taking up the case of Captain Kamaljeet S Kalsi.

Both Kalsi and Rattan, were recruited as part of an Army program that pays for medical education in return for military service. At the time of their enrolment, military recruiters assured both men that their turbans and unshorn hair 'would not be a problem'.

Four years later, the Army has now told them that the recruiters' assurances were false and that they would have to forsake their religious practices. The two Sikh youths challenged the Pentagon regulation earlier this year.

A Pentagon official informed them that at the instance of the Defence Secretary, they were reviewing the current policy. The case of the two Sikh youths has also been taken up by the Sikh Coalition -- an advocacy group of the community.

Last week, American Sikh leaders, participating in a conference at the Library of Congress had asked lawmakers to facilitate Sikh youths serve the US Army with their identity.

On Tuesday, Sikh Coalition also announced to launch a campaign to have broader letter of support from Congress to Secretary Gates for these Sikh soldiers.

Weakness or Strength

Sometimes your biggest weakness can become your biggest strength.

Take, for example, the story of one 10-year-old boy who decided to study judo despite the fact that he had lost his left arm in a devastating car accident.

The boy began lessons with an old Japanese judo master. The boy was doing well, so he couldn't understand why, after three months of training the master had taught him only one move.

"Sensei," the boy finally said, "Shouldn't I be learning more moves?"

"This is the only move you know, but this is the only move you'll ever need to know," the sensei replied.

Not quite understanding, but believing in his teacher, the boy kept training.

Several months later, the sensei took the boy to his first tournament. Surprising himself, the boy easily won his first two matches. The third match proved to be more difficult, but after some time, his opponent became impatient and charged; the boy deftly used his one move to win the match. Still amazed by his success, the boy was now in the finals.

This time, his opponent was bigger, stronger, and more experienced. For a while, the boy appeared to be overmatched. Concerned that the boy might get hurt, the referee called a time-out. He was about to stop the match when the sensei intervened.

"No," the sensei insisted, "Let him continue."

Soon after the match resumed, his opponent made a critical mistake: he dropped his guard. Instantly, the boy used his move to pin him. The boy had won the match and the tournament. He was the champion.
On the way home, the boy and sensei reviewed every move in each and every match. Then the boy summoned the courage to ask what was really on his mind.

"Sensei, how did I win the tournament with only one move?"

"You won for two reasons," the sensei answered. "First, you've almost mastered one of the most difficult throws in all of judo. And second, the only known defense for that move is for your opponent to grasp your left arm."

The boy's biggest weakness had become his biggest strength.

~ Author Unknown

Peaceful Protest against Dowry Law Misuse

To highlight the issues of the misuse of dowry and other gender laws such as IPC 498A, Dowry Prohibition Act (DP Act), Protection of Women from Domestic Violence Act (PWDVA), CrPC 125 (maintenance), Hindu marriage Act (HMA), and others, Save Indian Family Foundation (SIFF) a non-govermental organization is organizing a peaceful protest in Bangalore, India.

Here is what the organizer had to say in the press release:

Save Indian Family Foundation (SIFF), an NGO dedicated to promote the cause of Gender Equality and Family Harmony, is organizing a peaceful protest against the deteriorating Indian family culture due to rampant misuse of Section 498A IPC, Domestic Violence Act and the dowry laws. The protest will be held on the 14th February 2009 on M.G.Road in front of Mahatma Gandhi Statue from 10: 00 AM to 1 PM. Nearly 150 people from all walks of life like, Engineers, Doctors, Businessmen, Service class, Government Employees, Software Professionals, NRIs, Chartered Accountants, Finance Consultants to name a few will be joining us in our endeavor to raise voice against this spreading “Legal Terrorism”.

Read the complete press release here

THE SPEAKING TREE


Why Some People Seem To Have All The Luck

Richard Wiseman

Why do some people have all the luck while others never get the breaks they deserve? I set out to examine luck, 10 years ago. Why are some people always in the right place at the right time, while others consistently experience ill fortune? I placed advertisements in national newspapers asking for people who felt consistently lucky or unlucky to contact me.

Hundreds of extraordinary men and women volunteered for my research and over the years have been interviewed by me I have monitored their lives and had them take part in experiments. The results reveal that although these people have almost no insight into the causes of their luck, their thoughts and behaviour are responsible for much of their good and bad fortune Take the case of seemingly chance opportunities. Lucky people consistently encounter such opportunities, whereas unlucky people do not.

I carried out a simple experiment to discover whether this was due to differences in their ability to spot such opportunities. I gave both lucky and unlucky people a newspaper, and asked them to look through it and tell me how many photographs were inside. I had secretly placed a large message
halfway through the newspaper saying: 'Tell the experimenter you have seen this and win $50'.

This message took up half of the page and was written in type that was more than two inches high. It was staring everyone straight in the face, but the unlucky people tended to miss it and the lucky people tended to spot it.

Unlucky people are generally more tense than lucky people, and this anxiety disrupts their ability to notice the unexpected. As a result, they miss opportunities because they are too focused on looking
for something else. They go to parties intent on finding their perfect partner and so miss opportunities to make good friends. They look through newspapers determined to find certain types of job advertisements and miss other types of jobs.

Lucky people are more relaxed and open, and therefore see what is there rather than just what they are looking for. My research eventually revealed that lucky people generate good fortune via four principles. They are skilled at creating and noticing chance opportunities, make lucky decisions
by listening to their intuition, create self-fulfilling prophesies via positive expectations, and adopt a resilient attitude that trans forms bad luck into good.

I wondered towards the end of the work whether these principles could be used to create good luck. I asked a group of volunteers to spend a month carrying out exercises designed to help them think and behave like a lucky person Dramatic results! These exercises helped them spot chance opportunities, listen to their intuition expect to be lucky, and be more resilient to bad luck. One month later, the volunteers returned and described what had happened. The results were dramatic: 80 per cent of people were now happier, more satisfied with their lives and, perhaps most important of all, luckier

The lucky people had become even luckier and the unlucky had become lucky.
Finally, I had found the elusive "luck factors".
1. Listen to your gut instincts - they are normally right.
2. Be open to new experiences and breaking your normal routine.
3. Spend a few moments each day remembering things that went well
4. Visualize yourself being lucky before an important meeting or telephone call.

All the "luck factors" above actually point to a single factor - a positive attitude.

International Men’s day events in Mumbai

We, Protect India n Family Foundation, are a part of global group of NGOs and local self-help groups ((wherever Indian-NRI families live) and responsible Indian citizens who are concerned about the future of Indian families and hence our future as a Nation by and large. Our network is made up of like minded persons and NGOs who have dedicated their souls in bringing back the 'meaning' and happiness of "Family", back to at least(for a start) Indian families.

For this result we are trying to work on different fronts including Child rights for shared parenting (as per the welfare of the child, keeping its development as prime in our minds). You could see the website of our sister NGO, CRISP(Children’s Right Initiative for Shared Parenting) www.crisp-india.org for more on this front.

The next avenue that we are exploring is to change the mindset of public in general and hence higher authorities including law-makers, that 'Man' is not always the tormentor, he actually deserves a hug many a times for his selfless efforts for the upkeep of his family and for his dedicated loyalty and hard work which he makes for this Nation of ours, as we all can witness.

Many a times a ‘Man’ is not only denied of this well deserved 'reward' of a simple hug, but he is also brandished as a cruel, in-humane and an insensitive partner/player(by default) in any social setting(let alone familial situations). This is why we see people taking sides even without bothering to 'verify the facts of the specific situation', this bias is shockingly evident in cases when a man is accused of indiscretions/cruelty made out towards a woman (women)- he sometimes bears the burnt of being a 'Man' per se- due to his image been "Stereotyped", almost as that of a typically insensitive “Animal”!, almost a perfect animal, which only thinks just about pleasures of various kinds, and then Food(may be TV too comes as a strong ingredient in this imagery of a stereotypically consumerist 'Man').


This scenario, as many of you also would acknowledge, is far from the reality with respect to even the 'average' man living in our present day society, and is hence detrimental for the upkeep of our time-tested family system, which is by far the single most important factor which is almost single-handedly supporting India and stopping it from plunging into the abyss of unfathomable anarchy, unrest and thence total destruction. And this is a shocking trend, which if left unchecked, could eventually gobble up the entire great Indian population clean, in no time at all.


As a net result, men are seen to be losing their rights, and even denied of their emotional needs, such as their need, and right, of being there for their children, especially when they need a father in their most sensitive & critical developmental years. Even lets, for a minute, forget a father's need to see these days of his kid, to be a part of these days and experience a bit of joy, which is one among the few life-forces which sustains life and enthusiasm in most of us as, work horses, err …. Men.


Even in this case too, forgetting a Man’s need to be his kids, considering just the rights and need of children to have a balanced development, the situation would point itself towards the need for having a caring father around, along with its mother around a child, for its proper development as a responsible citizen of this good earth!.


Children need both parents (as far as either parent is not insane, or proves negative in their net influence over children’s development and psyche) for shaping up to those wonderful people they can become with proper nurturing and love from both parents(who needs to put aside their differences, how much ever the degree of differences they have between two of them).


Men’s day events

Protect Indian Family Foundation(PIFF), NGO, Mumbai (Member of the Save Indian Family (SIF) Network), are planning a Bike and Car rally on 19th November, 2008 (Proposed Time: 2.30 to 4.30 pm ).


This event is a part of an important campaign by Protect Indian Family, Mumbai and its associate NGOs in Delhi, Bangalore, Lucknow, Nagpur, Kolkata, Hyderabad(who are all conducting similar such events in conjunction to International men’s day) and several other NGOs and Local groups under the aegis of Save Indian Family Foundation umbrella group.


Brief details of the Vehicle Rally

We expect around 60 bikes and 20 cars to participate. The objective of this Rally will be to bring Awareness about the misuse of laws concerning families (IPC 498a, Domestic Violence Act, etc.), which wrecking many families in India and abroad (wherever Indians live). This is also to commemorate the international Men’s day, which falls on November 19th.


Following this vehicle rally, at the culmination point(Bandra Family Court), we will be submitting a Memorandum of our demands and concerns to the Principle Judge, Mumbai Family Court, Bandra, along with other relevant authorities.

Contact Persons: P.R.Gokul- 9322156141, M.R.Gupta – 9869323538
Proposed Route
City Civil/Session Court (Mayo Road) to Bandra Family Court

(Roads planned: Starting from ; Opp. City Civil Court on Karamvir Bhaurao Patil

Marg (Mayo Road) – Woudby Road – Capital Cinema – Nagar Chowk – D.N. Road

– Crowford Market – L.T. Road – Mohamed Ali Road – Sir. J.J. Road – N.M. Joshi

Road (Delisle Road) – Gokhale Road (North) – Lady Jamshetji Road – Mahim

Causeway – Western Express Highway – Kala Nagar – B.K.C. Family Court)

This event is being planned by Protect Indian Family (www.protectindianfamily.org), Mumbai, NGO-Member of Save Indian Family (www.saveindianfamily.org) & SIF’s Media Flagship- SIF Times (www.siftimes.com)


We hope that these efforts will go a long way in bringing back the tranquility at home, since charity begins at Home. And since home is the fountainhead of life force, lets nurture the tranquility in Indian families, to ultimately pave way for a stronger Nation. Looking forward to your cooperation and active participation.


Save Indian Family (SIF) is a strong team of dedicated families comprising of victims of "misuse of 498a and other Gender biased Women-Protection laws like Dowry Prohibition Act, Domestic Violence Act, etc.", including NRIs, Senior citizens who campaign and create awareness about gross injustice and abuse that happen in Indian Legal system. SIF has over 30 NGOs and 50,000 families as its members across the globe.


Protect Indian Family Foundation (PIFF), Mumbai is a member NGO of the SIF network, based in Mumbai, looking after related issues for entire Maharashtra and beyond.


Help-line Numbers:
Mumbai: 9869323538(M.R.Gupta), 9224335577, 9322156141(Rotating lines)
Delhi: 9810611534
Kolkata: 9830151555
Chennai: 9884607376
Hyderabad: 09848280354
Bangalore: 9845143724

Pune: 9923056460
More help-lines at: http://mynation.net/contact-us & http://www.savefamily.org/index.php?Itemid=65&option=com_content



Supported by :
www.saveindianfamily.org
www.mynation.net
www.savefamily.org
www.asha-kiran.org
www.sahanaindia.org
www.ghrs.in
www.forgottenwomen.org
www.protectindianfamily.org
www.mensday.in
www.antidowry.org
www.498a.org

Thanks
Protect Indian Family Foundation, Maharashtra
Mumbai Contacts: +91 9869323538, 9224335577, 9322156141,
Email: help@protectindianfamily.org | Web: www.protectindianfamily.org

Black March, on the 2nd Anniversary of Domestic Violence Act, Sunday, 26th October 2008

A “ Black March”, on the 2nd Anniversary of Domestic Violence Act, Sunday, 26th October 2008 - near Charni Road Chowpatti(Birla Kreeda Kendra to Wilson College), Mumbai, on 26th October 2008 from 5.00 pm to 7:00 pm. Please find the press release of this event and a 'memo to media' attached in this email.

This 'Black March' is an awareness(the general public and authorities need to know and acknowledge that no one is immune to this dangerous trend) cum protest event against the gender-biased and misuse-prone women-protection laws, especially the newly introduced Domestic Violence Act(Protection of Women against Domestic Violence Act- ie. PWDVA) on its 2nd Anniversary date

The DV act came into force on 26th October 2006, and it was indeed a black day for Indian families, since it was one more nail in the coffin of the institution called marriage, due to its bias and propensity to be misused.

If the government really wanted domestic violence in families to be addressed, why didn't they make it gender-neutral like in other countries where such laws exist(especially in USA, which is the model/inspiration of DV Act in India. Right now a man cannot get relief under DV Act even if he is tormented in a family/domestic relation).

DV Act is just one law which is breaking Indian families because of their wrongful/fraudulent misuse by unscrupulous wives/her advisors. The other laws which are being misused are IPC 498a, Dowry Prohibition Act. For example , in case of IPC 498a there is only 2% conviction as per CSR study report, but all arrests are without investigation or evidence, just on the basis of an unverified complaint by a wife!. 1.2 lakh women have been arrested in the last 4 years alone, apart from over 1000 children and 18,000 senior citizens and a total of 5.34 lakh persons! have been arrested and traumatized by wrongful litigations for an average of 8 years!.

Families disintegrate without any chance of reconciliation when these kind of skewed family-breaking laws are misused, and that’s the same reason why we are protesting against them and spreading awareness to generate public opinion against these anti-family, harmony-wrecking, misuse-prone and draconic laws

Save Indian Family' activists' hold national meet

The 'Save Indian Family' activists' national meet to discuss strategies to intensify the campaign against misuse of gender biased laws, turned out to be more than strategy discussion full of fun and banter, followed by an awards function.


IT WAS the enigmatic ambience of Goa and the serene silence, decorated with the soothing sea waves of the beach that sparked the mood for the national meet of Goa for the 60 odd leaders and activists of the ’Save Indian Family’ campaign. Having had assembled for their proposed national meet, as reported by leading national dailies viz The Times of India, Deccan Chronicle to name a few, to discuss strategies to intensify their campaign against the misuse of gender biased laws, the meet turned out to be more than just strategy discussion as the event started with fun and banter followed by an awards function.

After introduction by the key members, the individual Non-Government Organisations (NGOs) working and sharing concerns with the Save Indian Family Foundation that had sent their representatives came forward to discuss their strengths and weaknesses. Those present were from

Save Indian Foundation, Bangalore and Nagpur,
Indiya Kudumba Pathukappu Iyakkam Chennai,
Save Family Foundation and MyNation Foundation Delhi,
Pati Pariwar Kalyan Samiti, Lucknow,
Protect Indian Family, Mumbai,
Sahana, Hyderabad,
Bharat Bachao Sangathan, Kolkata and
Children’s Rights Initiative for Shared Parenting (CRISP), Bangalore.

The NGOs as mentioned above and in the order presented their individual strengths and weaknesses. This discussion worked as the first step towards consolidation of strategies and brainstorming of steps to strengthen the movement in general. Newly upcoming Chattisgarh NGO had also sent its wishes and message via the representative of the Nagpur NGO.

Kumar Jahgirdar, the president of CRISP, discussed the vision and mission of CRISP and a collective goal was set to achieve regional expansion of CRISP in to new geographies. Members from national chapters expressed their solidarity and support by filling in the membership forms for CRISP. The event also marked the launch of the website of CRISP by the name of Crisp-India.

The discussion was followed by splitting the members present into five separate task groups of five -- seven members each on an average. Each of the task group was assigned a topic and was given 90 minutes to come up with a comprehensive strategy to be implemented in the concerned area of development. The areas of development were,

1. How to expand into new geographies and how to retain and grow the existing chapters?
2. Effective counselling techniques for newly joined victims who face abuse and approach the NGOs.
3. Effective lobbying techniques with the authorities and create the desired level of visibility for the Save Indian Family movement.
4. Calendar of events for the next one year.
5. More and potential areas of research.

After the stipulated time, the individual task groups came up with ideas/strategies in their respective areas and also the challenges currently faced in that area. The same were discussed, noted and the activists will be working on improvement of these areas to strengthen the movement and make the cause more audible and visible.

With so much of brainstorming happening since morning, the need for the day was a break, which came as a surprise event in the form of an award function mainly aimed to act as a motivating tonic to identify key contributions, both individual and group. Five categories of awards were designed and various nominations were identified and the final awards were compiled by a jury formed of the senior most leaders of the movement. The categories of nominations were:

Lifetime achievement award – This award went to the oldest member of the movement who has been a victim and has been raising voice against this misuse in the Internet since the past nine years.
Best chapter award – This award went to the Nagpur NGO, which has emerged as the fastest growing chapter by utilising all the knowledge that is available and converted the same in to an executable plan and achieved some wonderful results in a very short span of time.

Most outstanding contribution – This award went to the vociferous fighter of the Save Indian Family Campaign, which has written the bible for the victims of the abuse in the form of the “498a Survival Kit.”

Best fight back strategy – This award went to the commando, who was instrumental in getting justice to one of those unfortunate 56,000 married men who commit suicide. This relates back to the suicide by Pushkar Singh of Lucknow being unable to bear the torture of a false case against him of dowry harassment by his wife and in- laws. Inspite of the suicide note left behind, clearly accusing his wife and in-laws of his suicide, as the authorities were restraining themselves in taking action, our commando mobilised and motivated 35 members from Delhi and UP to raise voice against the grave injustice and ensure restoration of faith in the criminal justice system.

Influencing the authorities - This award went to our legal stalwarts team, the Chennai NGO for being successfully instrumental in bringing to task 11 police officers ranging from a head constable, right up to the dy comm of police for negligence of duty and violation of human rights principles. They have been summoned by the National Human Rights Commission. Normally such a huge number of officers are summoned in case of communal riots. But this is the first time that in an individual case does one get to see such an attempt to repair miscarriage of justice.
Having, thus, completed the awards ceremony, the team headed towards dinner and happy hours of informal mingling and experience sharing and further discussions of improvement areas and finally parted for the day.

The second day of the meet was more of a culmination than a continuation, which started with rejuvenation and ended with celebration on the end of a successful meet. It has been decided that the annual meet continue for reviewing the strategies and identifying rooms of improvement.

National Meet of SIF activist on 27th-28th Sept at Goa to Stop the Legal Terrorism in India

Activists of the Save Indian Family campaign are meeting from all over India in Goa this weekend (27-28th Sept) to intensify agitation for amendment of dowry laws and domestic violence laws. Their demands are that dowry laws be made bailable and non-cognizable and domestic violence laws to be made gender neutral in larger interest of the society.

The spate of actions taken by the radical feminists in sidelining the moderates and wreaking havoc on innocent people in the name of Women Empowerment has already done a lot of damage to the Women Empowerment movement and its credibility. Save Indian Family Foundation does not want further deterioration of the society and hence hopes that the Govt. will do well by taking the above demands into consideration and not buckle under the pressure of radical feminists. It is high time that the media takes cudgels in presenting to the Society the bitter truth about radical feminists who
are calling the shots.

It is to be noted that the Govt. made several laws to tackle dowry menace. It all started in 1961, with the Dowry Prohibition Act, 1961. Then Section 498A, Indian Penal Code (45 of 1860) in 1983 and the very recent Protection of Women from Domestic Violence Act, 2005, passed in 2006. Quintessentially all of the above three try to achieve the same objective and unfortunately enough none is successful so far as now, these radical feminists want some more laws as they continue to ignore the extravagant marriages and inaction of dowry prohibition officers in curbing the dowry menace.

It is to be noted that Women's organizations have got and are still getting millions of dollars from the Govt. and from International agencies to implement stringent anti-male, laws ultra-vires the Indian Constitution for fighting against dowry. And now that they have got used to it, if the dowry menace is eliminated with proper implementation of the existing laws, then they will not get the funds and attention. So, they go soft on dowry exchange during marriages and yet cry for more laws so that men and their families can be harassed and money can be extorted from them.
It is worthwhile to be noted here that nowadays, women do not hesitate in filing 4-5 civil and criminal lawsuits for the same allegations on their husbands, blatantly and out rightly violating Article 20 of the Indian Constitution which clearly says that no person can be tried / punished twice for the same offense. The cases filed include lawsuits under Dowry Prohibition Act, then another under section 498A of the IPC. Then one more under Domestic Violence Act and one more under maintenance and so on and so forth.

But now Indian men have learned to fight and are giving stiff resistance to such wild practices and will continue to do so till the laws are not amended and the perpetrators of this misuse, aptly termed by the Honorable Supreme Court of India as Legal Terrorism, are not brought to task. It is interesting to note that in India, terrorists and hooligans are roaming freely and the Govt. does not want to bring back TADA / POTA but the same Govt. continues with arbitrary arrests of the 1,20,000 women in last 4 years without any trial or investigation and the same is also justified by radical feminist organizations. Such practices can only be ridiculed at best and termed as grave mockery by the Govt. taking potshots at the people's
patience.

Save Indian Family Foundation regrets to mention that in spite of nationwide awareness campaigns launched by it since the last three years and bringing this to the notice of the Govt. about the rampant misuse, still if the Govt. continues to ignore, the people will have no choice but to take the law in their own hands losing complete faith on the law of the land.

It is so pathetic that the Govt. is funding radical feminist organizations, which are no way different from any radical fundamentalist organizations so far as their intolerance is concerned as it is evident from the silence of these radicals on the arrests of 1,20,000 women.

It is also a sad reality that the government is completely ignoring the suicides of Indian men to the tune of close to 80,000 a year with married men forming a sizeable chunk of it to the tune of 56,000 (on average) a year.

*We wonder whose life is in more danger in the country: Men or Women.*

· As per the National Crime Records Bureau data of *2005*:

o Married Men Suicides = *52000* vs. Married Women Suicides = *28000*

· As per the National Crime Records Bureau data of *2006*:

o Married Men Suicides = *55452* vs. Married Women Suicides = *29869*

· For a wife, even adultery is not a crime (it is a rewarding option and free money earning business for the whole life), but for a husband even an allegation of *"**Name-calling**"* is a crime and not only the man, but his mother/sister/age-old father can also be put behind the bars for this 'crime' under IPC 498A or DV act.

The Chairperson of the National Commission for Women (NCW), Dr. Girija Vyas had enough time to take steps to eradicate the social evil called dowry exchange. Although the NCW has proposed multiple laws but sadly enough none are ever implemented in true spirit. If the dowry practice still exists, then it is a complete failure of the NCW and Girija Vyas and for that Save Indian Family Foundation demands resignation of Dr. Vyas and closure of the NCW.

More recently we had a very unfortunate judgment from the Honorable Supreme Court as well, wherein the Supreme Court granted apology to a husband who accepted taking dowry. When the law has clearly laid down that both giving and taking dowry is a crime, why were the criminals not punished and let go off with an apology? Does this not mean that the law of the land has no meaning and has been only enacted to terrorize innocent citizens and extort their hard earned money from them?

*With an ending note Save Indian Family Foundation likes to remind the civil society as well of its duty to raise voice against the injustice going on under the barb and paradoxical veil of Women Empowerment and to the Govt. to make family an issue in the coming elections. And that these laws need to be replaced by some more benign, sensible, gender-neutral legislation that may ensure women their rightful, honorable place at home and abroad, while at the same time not forgetting the rights of the men.*

*For more details contact : 9342853272/9845143274/9810611534*

------------------------------

*Review Gender Biased LAW to Promote Family Harmony and Stop Legal Terrorism*

- *Proposed Domestic Harmony Act , 2005 ( For review)

- *NCW's recommendations to address "unnatural deaths" of married women
are Unreasonable

- *Maintenance for live-in partner? or Legal Extrotion?

- *Woman throws acid on husband-Kolkata -Cities-The Times of India

- *NCW'S False/fabricated Claim exposed regarding 70% women denied
maintance on alleged adultrity ground in CRPc125.

- *STOP Women Sexual Harassment!!

Women - the greatest mystery

**Girl' is the only thing about which brain uses maximum resource but comes
with no output.*

Rahul was waiting for his love ...
"30 minutes late!!" his brain shouted at him, "Last time you were 5 mins
late and she had literally gobbled u up ... remember??"

"Yeah yeah", he said to his brain, "You know her ... all moody and stuff
.... Oh there she is"

"Scold her OK?" his brain adviced.

"OK I will try"

Sweet Ramya comes with the cutest smile and says "I'm sorry honey ... I was
shopping for shoes ... totally forgot about you"

"What if you had said that line buddy?" shouted his brain ... "she would
have had a nervous breakdown"

Rahul ignored his brain ... "Its OK honey ... it's only half an hour ...
no problem"

She smiled once again... held his hand and asked "Hope you remember what
occasion is today"

"OMG!!!" thought Rahul ....

"Brain ... search database for reminders, anniversaries, silly
anniversaries, birthdays and birthdays of people I don't care about"

Brain got into action ... he started delegating work to different parts ...
parallel processing .. Multiple search .......... complete memory scan.

Ramya stared at Rahul.... "Hello!! u have been staring at me for 2 minutes
now ... u OK?"

"Huh!!!" he said, "Oh ... nothing's wrong ... was lost in thought"

"No records found", said the brain ...

"Damn!!" thought Rahul

"So what say ... how do we celebrate this day?" she asked.

Rahul is all confused ... "Ask her ...dumbo?" Said the brain

"OK OK ...stop pushing me"

"Honey ... U know my lousy memory ... I guess I can't recall what today
is"

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" she shouted ... and started crying.

"How could you forget!!? ..... It's my doggy's birthday"

"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

A moment of silence.

His entire brain staff was laughing at him.

Rahul was dumbfounded.
"What the hell am I supposed to do know?" he asked his brain.

"Damage control sequence initialized ... don't worry our specialist will
comeback with the perfect line to make everything all right"

"Better do it fast ...Brainy"

The brain was working at 90% capacity.... gathering and analyzing all data
on 'How to handle women?'

Finally an answer was computed and communicated to Rahul.

He looked up to her, and said "Of Course I remember your doggy's bday ...
how can I forget that sweet mutt's special day"

She looked up with utter surprise...
"HUH!!!!!!! ....... Doggy is the name of my cat you jerk"

She stood up angrily and left.
Rahul and his brain were left there clueless....

"Ah! Screw u guys... I'm going home", said his brain and left.