Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Members of Indian Family Foundation IFF and CRFW participated in Mumbai Marathon. Though it was tiring but believe me it was so much of fun. People from all walks of life participated in Marathon with and they all were excited to be part of Marathon.
It was a memorable day and it is a goodp platform in terms of creating awareness for the cause... We participated in Dream Run... and people running in Marathon (Dream Run) stopped to read our placards... "Husband is not an ATM Machine", "Maa, Don't poison my mind against Papa, it really hurts me" and "Options for Indian males - Be Henpecke or Hancuffed".. .
they stopped.. clicked the pictures.. some groups were pointing to our banners and placards and were seen discussing.. . Media , Radio persons were approaching us... there were other NGOs and Groups who were running for different causes...
all and all it was good first time experience.. ... next time we should have more participants coming from all over india...
anyways below is the link of pics uploaded:
"Indian male - hapless animal"; "women empowered men unpowered"; "husband not an ATM machine", "options for Indian male - be henpecked or handcuffed"... these are some of the messages flashed on placards by members of various organisations who had gathered at Azad Maidan on the occasion of International Men's Day on Thursday, to raise their voice against the perceived harassment of men at the hands of the Indian judicial system.
Members of the Indian Family Foundation (IFF), Protect Indian Family Foundation, Child's Right and Family welfare and the Save Indian Family Movement held a dharna to create awareness about the problems faced by men. A bike rally was also held, with many members from Pune participating.
The men particularly targeted section 498A, which they said is often misused by women to get husbands arrested for harassment. They shouted slogans against the National Commission for Women (NCW) and the misuse of the Domestic Violence Act, and demanded a separate ministry for men.
According to Bunty Jain, founder member, IFF, "Most cases where section 498A is invoked turn out to be false. Baseless allegations are made against men to extort money from them, and the law and the police support women, without making complete inquiries. The laws are wife-centric, not even woman-centric, because the husband's mother or sister is not taken into account," he said.
Jain, who calls himself a victim, had to pay a large sum of money to his wife as alimony and is now fighting the domestic violence case that his wife filed against him. "The Domestic Violence Act should be made gender-neutral," he said.
Rakesh Jaiswal, who was also part of the dharna, feels that the time has now come for men to fight for gender parity. His wife, who left him two years ago, slapped a section 498A dowry harassment case against him and demanded a huge sum as alimony." She earns about Rs2.5 lakh per annum, but I still have to pay her alimony. How is this fair?" he asked.
Another major concern is child custody, as the men feel it is always tougher for the father to be able to get custody of children. Many women were also part of dharna, most of them the mothers of "harassed" husbands. Borivli resident Kamal Kapadia, 59, claimed that her daughter-in-law made 23 allegations against her, all of them false.
Some of the moments captured in the digital format :-)
Thursday, November 05, 2009
PIFF (Protect Indian Family Foundation) and IFF (Indian Family Foundation) are celebrating International Mens Day on 19th November 2009 at Azad Maidan (11 A.M to 4 P.M). An awareness vehicle rally, consisting of about 50 motorcycles and four wheelers, starting from Mulund will be converging at Azad Maidan by 12.30 pm.
We are part of the Save Indian Family Movement. This movement was initiated by victims of law who were falsely accused or threatened of law misuse, done with a view to take undue advantage, when a male family member’s marriage fails due to some other reason other than the false criminal accusation.
Male plight have always been the butt of jokes or cartoons and have never been taken seriously as their suffering is taken for granted or ignored. On this mens day we would like to pay tribute to the undisputable hard working taxpayer, Men, who pays approximately 82% taxes to the Government of India. Legal atrocities on us has been termed as “Legal Terrorism” by Supreme Court and recently the government has advised not to rush for Arrests of the Innocent Family of the Groom, as gross misuse of cruel Marriage laws has been observed years together.
We would like to call for your Unconditional and Overwhelming support in demanding a basic constitutional infrastructure and machinery for Men and his family members.
- Calling the government attention for Introducing a Ministry for Men regarding welfare of mens and related issues.
- Introducing a suo motu (By Default) punishment in the IPC for misuse of any law(especially laws concerned with families) irrespective of gender.
- Creating Machinery for Men to get his serious grievances recorded as crime against men and thus allow generating statistics for men to help understand his plight better.
- Identify his emotional needs as a father and allow a shared parenting during marital dispute.
- Protect the Mother and Sister and other relatives of Husband during marital dispute.
We are only against the misuse of any law on any innocent. We are not against any strata of the society. We are for protection of a vulnerable section in the society. We believe that law should treat everyone equal without blindly favoring / opposing any group.
We look forward for your support and participation in making this International Men’s day a great success.
Public Relations Officer
- Indian Family Foundation & Protect Indian Family Foundation (Mumbai)
9769770498 / 9930889008 / 9224335577
Save Indian Family Foundation Bangaluru, Chattisgarh,
Save Family Foundation Delhi,
Pati Parivar Kalyan Samiti Lucknow,
Save Family Welfare System Indore,
All India Forgotten Women Hyderabad,
Mothers And Sisters Initiative Delhi,
All India Mother In Law Protection Forum Nagpur.
Gender Human Rights Society Delhi,
Child Rights and Famliy Welfare Mumbai,
Bhavya Foundation Moradabad,
Childs Rights Initiative for Shared Parenting Bangaluru.
Rakshak Foundation USA,
Mynation.net (Middle East),
Indiya Kudumba Pathukappu Iyakkam Chennai,
Family India Lifeline Kochi,
All India Men’s Welfare Association Bangaluru.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Formed on: 26th October 2009
Contingents: Common people who are threatened or falsely implicated of Wife law misuse.
Least Common Factor: Harassed Husbands and Family Members
Highest Common Factor: the spirit of fighting back for their constitutional rights inspite of Rejection, Ignominy and underdog status, due to Imbalanced Law.
Aim: To be the change that they wish to see the world
Observations: Were asked to prove their innocence by the police, Indian law and Now by some journalists at the press conference.
Our Answer: “We are sadly presumed Guilty till proven Innocent, as you are proving our point, since this is highly unconstitutional and government is pretending sleep, Where do we go? Where do we ring the bell?”
We are innocent and we will not give up, we are here to stay.
- Have Ministry for Welfare for Men
- Time to review: Debug the loopholes by making the definition of all Wife centric laws neutral in other words change the word Wife to Spouse or atleast make it women centric (where the mother and sister of husband are protected), Else introduce 498B for males.
- We are not against any law what we are against is the misuse, Introduce a section that keeps a check on misuse of laws and punishes the misuser suo moto.
- Make Alimony laws more practical by aiding the estranged wife on doing courses that make her self dependent, let husband sponsor the course.
- Make Adultery Law Gender Neutral.
We are available on following numbers: (Voluntary Helplines; limited hour operation)
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Press Release for Indian Family Foundation on 26th October 2009
Hum Kahan Bell Bajayen???
Hum Kahan Bell Bajayen???
The Indian Family Foundation, Mumbai, is an initiative by victims of gender biased law. We intend to promote the cause of Gender Equality and Family Harmony, and take up the cause of grief-stricken families who are victimized by the misuse of laws like the Section 498A of the Indian Penal Code, the Protection of Women from Domestic Violence Act (PWDVA), Section 125 CrPC, Child Custody laws etc., to name just a few.
There is urgent need to replace and amend the PWDVA and such laws. What is wrong with the PWDVA and similar gender-based laws? The PWDVA was passed by legislature and came into force on 26th Oct 2006. While the name of the Act itself suggests noble intentions like protection and welfare of women, the act itself is hardly helpful to needy women. On the other hand there is plenty of evidence that it is being misused by unscrupulous women, which has led to complete hijack of the Indian Family System by external vested interests by the components of legal machinery.
No data has ever been provided to justify unconstitutional laws like PWDVA and the cruel, unusual procedures therein. PWDVA is reduced to a wife centric law rather than a woman centric law as it neglects domestic violence against the mother-in-law by the daughter-in-law and further it also neglects domestic violence against children, Sr. Citizens and male members of the family.
To prove the point, there have been plenty of cases where respondents have been a woman in the PWDVA. Thus nullifying the very protection i.e. intended for the woman.
Further, to widen the perspective of actual domestic violence atrocities on male that surpasses the statistics vs. women is simply ignored as inspite of several NGOs raising voices for protection of man and his family members have been turned on a blind eye and deaf ear. To prove our point we have the statistics of male suicides vs. female suicides.
The suicide rates of Indian men are consistently double of that of women, according to NCRB statistics. In 2007, over 56000 Married Men committed suicide compared to 30000 Married Women as published by National Crime Records Bureau. As per 2006 data, out of every 100 suicides there are 63 males and 37 females. Out of every 100 males 45 are married and out of every 100 females only 25 are married.
However due to lack of media attention on male suicides, the society fails to consider how emotional, economic, psychological, and physical violence affects and scars the men and boys in their homes. Men are expected to protect, provide for their families, and yet take it on the chin any form of emotional abuse without complaining.
We demand equality in real sense and thus we propose solutions that would create balance and remove the imbalance that is found in the family laws. We vehemently suggest formation of Ministry of Men’s Welfare as it would take care of the very originator and contributor of the Tax to the Government. And re-draft the acts and laws in a neutral perspective by replacing the word Wife to Spouse. We also propose a suo-moto punishment for all those involved in the misuse of the law that wastes the national time and money as it involves State machinery that ultimately fights a false case against the innocent Husbands.
We want the facility of recording complaints of the aggrieved Husbands and their family members as cognizable offences. Thus helps the system to understand the real picture through the statistics generated which otherwise as on date does not exist.
We want the facility of recording complaints of the aggrieved Husbands and their family members as cognizable offences. Thus helps the system to understand the real picture through the statistics generated which otherwise as on date does not exist.
While we talk of gender equality the law should stop treating Husbands as ATM machines and rather encourage the woman to be self sustained.
Laws like 497 of adultery should be dealt with more sincerity and should be made gender neutral. For example, any woman who seduces a man into few instances of consensual sex can claim reliefs under PWDVA from him. She has same rights under this legislation as the wife of twenty years of a man.
The propaganda machinery of government, aid agencies, and women organisations are only focused on ‘violence’ against married women in their matrimonial homes. All men, children, and women relatives of husbands are completely ignored. This leads to lack of emotional, family, society, and legal/judicial support for men which lead to higher suicide rates among them.
The PWDVA violates the principles of natural justice and violates basic civil rights of the accused men, and increasingly accused women. Men are robbed of their communication channel and are subjected to unconstitutional processes just to satisfy the anger and ego of the complainant woman which is a violation of the fundamental rights granted under Articles 14 and 15 of the Indian Constitution. In most of the cases the complainant lady is fulfilling her illegitimate wishes legally.
It is a well-known fact from several studies that children that grow in a fatherless home have much higher chances of future crime, teenage pregnancy, drug abuse, and emotional imbalance. But the proponents of PWDVA and such legislation unabashedly proclaim the right of a woman to take her children away from father's home and father's care. False and ridiculous allegations of child abuse and cruelty are routinely used in PWDVA applications to deny fathers any access to their children.
Remember domestic and social harmony will prevail only when women and men are ensured their equal, rightful and honorable place within and outside the home. In addition, when we ensure true gender equality under the law, litigations will be reduced, legal terrorism and extortion through misuse of the law will be eliminated and our human and financial resources can be employed for the betterment of the society and the country.
Friday, October 02, 2009
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
The man thought that Buddha would reciprocate in the same manner, but to his utter surprise, there was not the slightest change in the expression on his face.
Now, the man became more furious. He hurled more and more abuses at Buddha. However, Buddha was completely unmoved. Actually there was a look of compassion on his face. Ultimately the man was tired of abusing him. He asked, "I have been abusing you like anything, but why are you not angry at all?
Lord Buddha calmly replied, "My dear brother, I have not accepted a single abuse from you."
"But you heard all of them, didn't you?" The man argued half-heartedly.
Buddha said, "I do not need the abuses, so man should I even hear them?"
Now the man was even more puzzled. He could not understand the calm reply from Buddha.
Looking at his disturbed face, Buddha further explained, "All those abuses remain with you."
"It cannot be possible. I have hurled all of them at you," the man persisted.
Buddha calmly repeated his reply, "But I have not accepted even a single abuse from you! Dear brother, suppose you give some coins to somebody, and if he does not accept them, with whom will those coins remain?"
The man replied, "If I have given the coins and they are not needed by anyone, then naturally they would remain with me."
With a meaningful smile on his face, Buddha said, "Now you are right. The same has happened with your abuses. You came here and hurled abuses at me, but I have not accepted a single abuse from you. Hence, all those abuses remain with you only. So there is no reason to be angry with you."
The man remained speechless. He was ashamed of his behavior and begged for Buddha's forgiveness.
~ Author Unknown
When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free.
- Catherine Ponder
Monday, September 07, 2009
A group of Indian mothers-in-law have come together to fight the harassment they claim to endure at the hands of their daughters-in-law.
Fifty women have joined the All India Mothers-in-law Protection Forum (AIMPF), launched in Bangalore city.
A spokeswoman told the BBC that while there were 15 laws to protect the younger generation, there was nothing to protect mothers-in-law from abuse.
India's National Commission for Women has acknowledged the problem.
It says that cases against in-laws are often registered by brides who are protected by strict anti-dowry laws.
But a number of the accusations turn out to be false.
"The mother-in-law is portrayed as a villain in our society," says Neena Thuliya, coordinator of AIMPF.
"In television serials, films and the media, we are shown as vamps. It's an age-old belief that the mother-in-law physically assaults and mentally tortures the daughter-in-law."
The AIMPF recently did a survey in Bangalore studying cases of abuse and torture filed against the mother-in-law.
Mrs Thuliya says that of the nearly 50 cases they researched, all turned out to be false allegations.
Dowries are often paid by bride's families in India
"There was a time when the daughter-in-law had to live with so many restrictions, but now the time has changed. Today's daughter-in-law is free and works outside the home. It's the old mother-in-law who now faces abuse at the hands of the daughter-in-law," Mrs Thuliya says.
"In tele-serials we are the villains, in real life we are the victims," she adds.
Mrs Thuliya says elderly women are sometimes thrown out of their homes by their daughters-in-law.
The forum, she says, will hold meetings every Sunday and will devise strategies to provide support to "harassed mothers-in-law".
The AIMPF says it will also campaign against the demonisation of the mother-in-law in popular culture.
For centuries, in many Indian families, daughters-in-law have been harassed for bringing in "inadequate dowry" - a South Asian tradition where the bride's parents give cash, jewellery and gifts to the groom's family.
The Indian government outlawed giving and accepting dowries in 1961, but the practice continues and even today few arranged marriages take place without an exchange of dowry.
Campaigners say the system has led to the abuse of young brides, making them vulnerable to domestic violence.
Every year, hundreds of women are scalded or even burned alive by their in-laws.
In the past few years, India has introduced several strict laws to protect new brides from abuse and torture.
But it is being accepted by the authorities that the laws are being increasingly misused by young women to harass their in-laws or settle scores.
Tuesday, September 01, 2009
Different presentations affect our reactions, communications and interactions with others. It's our presentation that counts.
Two people may be trying to get across the same idea, but they may do it in
completely different ways. One presentation may have negative overtones, carry with it a whole range of negative emotions, and incite negative reactions, whereas the other may be just the opposite. Almost without exception, the one who does it in a kind, considerate way will have the greater success.
Positive presentation makes people feel good, it makes them feel cared for, it makes them feel that you like and respect and have confidence in them, and that nearly always wins their cooperation.
If people feel that you care, that's what will matter most to them and go the farthest in strengthening your relationship. Let friendship and trust come through.
Actually, the words we say are not always as important as how we say them. Sometimes we do need to point out problems or say things that we know will be difficult for the other person to accept, and even be direct in doing so. But people can overlook our being frank if they see that we sincerely care about them.
Even if we fail to say exactly the right thing in exactly the right way, if people feel that you care, that's what will matter most to them and go the farthest in strengthening your relationship. Let friendship and trust come through.
Part of mastering the Art of Presentation is to try a little tact.
A word that seems out of place or is said at the wrong time or to the wrong person is often thought of as a lack of tact. The dictionary defines tact as "the ability to say and do the right things; skill in handling difficult situations or dealing with difficult people without giving offense; delicacy; diplomacy." Delicacy means "fineness of feeling for small differences." The word "tact" is taken from the Latin tactus, which means "touching."
So the art of having tact and saying the right things to people at the right time is really just to be sensitive to the way they feel, to have that personal touch that helps us to be aware of what might hurt their feelings and to avoid doing so.
How do we learn to be more tactful? Be more sensitive to people's feelings, and cultivate the habit of thinking twice before you speak.
What you say is important! How you say it is even more important!!!-- Cyrus Lentin
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Save Indian Family (SIF) movement is a non-funded, self-supported movement and has been formed with a multi-dimensional strategy to form at least 100 NGOs all over India working in the area of Men Welfare. On the 15th of August 2009, 100 leaders from at least 25 NGOs representing 40,000 members participated in a 2 day National Conference in Shimla with a resolution of not to celebrate the Independence Day on August 15 this year.
Leaders of the SIF movement feel that India is not an independent and a democratic country because men in general and married men in particular are being discriminated against to the point that their constitutional rights are being infringed and challenged especially those granted under Articles 14,15,20 and 21 of the Indian Constitution – the mother of all Indian laws.
- Article 21 of the Constitution provides for Right to Liberty, however today one unverified complaint of mental and/or physical harassment from the wife under Section 498A of the Indian Penal Code lands a man and his old parents, pregnant sister and minor children behind bars and his Right to Liberty is challenged as neither is any investigation being done to verify the tenacity of the complaint nor evidence is collected to corroborate the allegations.
- Article 20 of the Constitution says that no person shall be tried twice for the same offence, however, in marital matters the man and his family face multiple litigations/prosecutions/trials for the same alleged cause of action under Section 498A of the Indian Penal Code, Domestic Violence Act, Section 125 CrPC (maintenance), Section 24 of the Hindu marriage Act, Divorce case, child custody case etc. These multiple and parallel litigations for same alleged offence clearly and blatantly violates Article 20 of the Indian Constitution.
- Article 15 of the Constitution says that for the weaker sections of the society including women and children, the Govt. shall provide for Special Provisions to work for their welfare. Nowhere does it give the Govt. the liberty to formulate special, redundant and gender biased laws against the natural principles of Cardinal Justice. However, the laws mentioned above have been formulated and this practice is in violation of the Article 15 of the Constitution of India.
- Article 14 of the Constitution provides for Right to Equality before law. However, in Domestic Violence Act, firstly men are not provided protection against domestic abuse from their wives and in-laws and secondly the complainant woman’s sole testimony is considered as evidence of violation of protection order enough to convict the man. Both these practices do not place men and women at equal footing before the law as men face severe discrimination and their Constitutional right under Article 14 is challenged.
Under such a scenario, the men’s rights NGOs under the aegis of the SIF movement have lost the significance of celebrating Independence Day as they feel India is not a democratic country but a fascist country where arbitrary arresting a particular section of the society is considered as social service. SIF Leaders feel celebrating Independence in a country, where the Constitutional Rights of men are not respected, is like insulting freedom fighters like Bhagat Singh, Netaji Subhash Chandra Bose, Chandrashekhar Azad, etc.
- 123,000 innocent women (mothers, sisters and other female relatives of men) have been arrested in the four years period (2004 – 2007) whereas even the so called “Barbaric British Govt.” arrested only 40,000 women in 40 years.
- Every year on an average 55200 married men are committing suicides with the number shooting to 57593 for 2007 vis-à-vis 30000 married women as per National Crime Records Bureau. Whose life is in more danger? Is the pain of a mother/sister less when she loses a son/brother?
- 98% of dowry harassment cases filed against men have been found to be false and it is the wife’s family who has been extorting money from the man by treating them as FREE ATM MACHINE by threatening them with false allegations and dragging them into frivolous and malicious prosecution.
- In the five years span (2001 – 2006) an estimated 13,00,000 men have lost their jobs – a vast majority of them due to frivolous and arbitrary arrests – whereas 14,00,000 women have gained employment. Who needs empowerment, men or women?
- Men pay 82% of the taxes and more tax than women at the same salary level.
- SIF declares Section 498A of the IPC and Domestic Violence Act as Unconstitutional and demands a National Level Committee be setup which would include SIF Leaders as well to investigate into the constitutionality of these laws.
- Institute National Commission for men to study men’s issues and give recommendations to the Govt.
- Form Men’s Welfare Ministry to address men’s issues.
- Replace the word “Husband” and “Wife” with “Spouse” and “Man” and “Woman” with “Person".
Join Save Indian Family Movement......
Saturday, July 18, 2009
About 40 per cent of harassed husbands in the city are techies, study finds
Techies earning fat salaries are the most harassed among Bangalore husbands.
A study carried out by Save Indian Family Foundation (SIFF), a city based NGO, reveals that software professionals make up about 40 per cent of the total number of harassed husbands.
Huge pay packets make techies soft targets, say members of the foundation who carried out the study over 15 months.
"The study is shocking," said Panduranga Katti, president of SIFF. "Software professionals getting huge benefits from companies is a known fact and wives are misusing this every day. In most cases, wives demand money and threaten to complain to the police."
SIFF, which works to empower harassed husbands through its website and branches across the nation, studied about 1,100 cases in Bangalore from January 2008 to April 2009.
After the techies, came men with private businesses. They constituted 11.7 per cent of the cases. Husbands from administration and the military made up about 10 per cent of the cases.
Legal help for hassled hubbies
Men in government service, heavy engineering and management, and the finance sector made up 7.8, 7 and 6.3 per cent of the total cases respectively.
The study included professionals, who approached the NGO through the internet. While 73 per cent of the cases approached SIFF through its website http://www.indianfamily.org/, the rest approached them through friends.
SIFF plans to empower harassed husbands by providing them with legal support based on court judgments.
"Besides legal help, we will empower husbands through sessions of basic strategies and tactics. This will be done step by step," said Virag Dhulia, member, SIFF.
What women want
This is how wives harass husbands, according to the study:
>>Demanding money and threatening to file police complaints
>>Wanting parents to be sent away from the house
>>Forcing the husband to buy property
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Three lawmakers, Carolyn Maloney, Rodney Frelinghuysen and Joseph Crowley, in a letter to Gates have strongly supported the two Sikh American youths who have challenged the Pentagon [ Images ] regulation, which prevent them in serving the US Army with their religious identity.
The lawmakers have asked the Defence Secretary to give full consideration to the soldiers' requests. They, in their letter, cited other Sikhs' service in the US Armed Forces and in its allies' militaries to support their argument that these men should be permitted to serve.
'Throughout our history, our nation's military has succeeded in training individuals from diverse backgrounds and communities to achieve one unifying goal: to protect and defend our nation.
'Providing Lieutenant (Tajdeep S Rattan) Rattan with a reasonable accommodation would simply be an additional chapter in this long history of military success,' wrote Congresswoman Maloney, and Congressman Crowley in a joint letter dated June 17 to Gates.
'I am urging you to give full consideration to this young American's request for a reasonable accommodation that will allow him to continue to serve our nation and to observe his religious faith,' said Congressman Frelinghuysen taking up the case of Captain Kamaljeet S Kalsi.
Both Kalsi and Rattan, were recruited as part of an Army program that pays for medical education in return for military service. At the time of their enrolment, military recruiters assured both men that their turbans and unshorn hair 'would not be a problem'.
Four years later, the Army has now told them that the recruiters' assurances were false and that they would have to forsake their religious practices. The two Sikh youths challenged the Pentagon regulation earlier this year.
A Pentagon official informed them that at the instance of the Defence Secretary, they were reviewing the current policy. The case of the two Sikh youths has also been taken up by the Sikh Coalition -- an advocacy group of the community.
Last week, American Sikh leaders, participating in a conference at the Library of Congress had asked lawmakers to facilitate Sikh youths serve the US Army with their identity.
On Tuesday, Sikh Coalition also announced to launch a campaign to have broader letter of support from Congress to Secretary Gates for these Sikh soldiers.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Take, for example, the story of one 10-year-old boy who decided to study judo despite the fact that he had lost his left arm in a devastating car accident.
The boy began lessons with an old Japanese judo master. The boy was doing well, so he couldn't understand why, after three months of training the master had taught him only one move.
"Sensei," the boy finally said, "Shouldn't I be learning more moves?"
"This is the only move you know, but this is the only move you'll ever need to know," the sensei replied.
Not quite understanding, but believing in his teacher, the boy kept training.
Several months later, the sensei took the boy to his first tournament. Surprising himself, the boy easily won his first two matches. The third match proved to be more difficult, but after some time, his opponent became impatient and charged; the boy deftly used his one move to win the match. Still amazed by his success, the boy was now in the finals.
This time, his opponent was bigger, stronger, and more experienced. For a while, the boy appeared to be overmatched. Concerned that the boy might get hurt, the referee called a time-out. He was about to stop the match when the sensei intervened.
"No," the sensei insisted, "Let him continue."
Soon after the match resumed, his opponent made a critical mistake: he dropped his guard. Instantly, the boy used his move to pin him. The boy had won the match and the tournament. He was the champion.
On the way home, the boy and sensei reviewed every move in each and every match. Then the boy summoned the courage to ask what was really on his mind.
"Sensei, how did I win the tournament with only one move?"
"You won for two reasons," the sensei answered. "First, you've almost mastered one of the most difficult throws in all of judo. And second, the only known defense for that move is for your opponent to grasp your left arm."
The boy's biggest weakness had become his biggest strength.
~ Author Unknown
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Here is what the organizer had to say in the press release:
Save Indian Family Foundation (SIFF), an NGO dedicated to promote the cause of Gender Equality and Family Harmony, is organizing a peaceful protest against the deteriorating Indian family culture due to rampant misuse of Section 498A IPC, Domestic Violence Act and the dowry laws. The protest will be held on the 14th February 2009 on M.G.Road in front of Mahatma Gandhi Statue from 10: 00 AM to 1 PM. Nearly 150 people from all walks of life like, Engineers, Doctors, Businessmen, Service class, Government Employees, Software Professionals, NRIs, Chartered Accountants, Finance Consultants to name a few will be joining us in our endeavor to raise voice against this spreading “Legal Terrorism”.
Read the complete press release here
Tuesday, January 06, 2009
Why Some People Seem To Have All The Luck
Why do some people have all the luck while others never get the breaks they deserve? I set out to examine luck, 10 years ago. Why are some people always in the right place at the right time, while others consistently experience ill fortune? I placed advertisements in national newspapers asking for people who felt consistently lucky or unlucky to contact me.
Hundreds of extraordinary men and women volunteered for my research and over the years have been interviewed by me I have monitored their lives and had them take part in experiments. The results reveal that although these people have almost no insight into the causes of their luck, their thoughts and behaviour are responsible for much of their good and bad fortune Take the case of seemingly chance opportunities. Lucky people consistently encounter such opportunities, whereas unlucky people do not.
I carried out a simple experiment to discover whether this was due to differences in their ability to spot such opportunities. I gave both lucky and unlucky people a newspaper, and asked them to look through it and tell me how many photographs were inside. I had secretly placed a large message
halfway through the newspaper saying: 'Tell the experimenter you have seen this and win $50'.
This message took up half of the page and was written in type that was more than two inches high. It was staring everyone straight in the face, but the unlucky people tended to miss it and the lucky people tended to spot it.
Unlucky people are generally more tense than lucky people, and this anxiety disrupts their ability to notice the unexpected. As a result, they miss opportunities because they are too focused on looking
for something else. They go to parties intent on finding their perfect partner and so miss opportunities to make good friends. They look through newspapers determined to find certain types of job advertisements and miss other types of jobs.
Lucky people are more relaxed and open, and therefore see what is there rather than just what they are looking for. My research eventually revealed that lucky people generate good fortune via four principles. They are skilled at creating and noticing chance opportunities, make lucky decisions
by listening to their intuition, create self-fulfilling prophesies via positive expectations, and adopt a resilient attitude that trans forms bad luck into good.
I wondered towards the end of the work whether these principles could be used to create good luck. I asked a group of volunteers to spend a month carrying out exercises designed to help them think and behave like a lucky person Dramatic results! These exercises helped them spot chance opportunities, listen to their intuition expect to be lucky, and be more resilient to bad luck. One month later, the volunteers returned and described what had happened. The results were dramatic: 80 per cent of people were now happier, more satisfied with their lives and, perhaps most important of all, luckier
The lucky people had become even luckier and the unlucky had become lucky.
Finally, I had found the elusive "luck factors".
1. Listen to your gut instincts - they are normally right.
2. Be open to new experiences and breaking your normal routine.
3. Spend a few moments each day remembering things that went well
4. Visualize yourself being lucky before an important meeting or telephone call.
All the "luck factors" above actually point to a single factor - a positive attitude.